Hot Touch by Deborah Smith

Author:Deborah Smith [Smith, Deborah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-79663-9
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2011-06-14T16:00:00+00:00

What a woman. What a bewildering, frustrating, heartbreaking woman, Paul thought as he sat in a rocking chair by his bedroom window, staring out at the black night and the rain. He hadn’t changed clothes; he didn’t attempt to sleep.

His thoughts were bonded to the odd scene he’d left in the hospital; Caroline as beautiful and sleek as any high-fashion model, even soaked with Louisiana rain, even with the scar that caused her so much torment; Caroline lying there in the coarse confines of a concrete stall hugging a gazelle as if it were her child.

He didn’t understand her; he’d never understand her, probably. He didn’t understand his dangerous need for her and the tenderness she created inside him with her perplexing vulnerability. No. No.

He’d loved before, but never enough to lose his ability to reason. This had to be conquered, this foolish impulse to break down her defenses at all costs. She couldn’t be won; she wasn’t meant to be tied to one man or stay in Louisiana among her memories.

Not long before dawn the rain slacked to a warm drizzle. Feeling ancient, nothing resolved, Paul got up and walked back to the hospital. Anna sat at the desk in the anteroom.

She shook her head at him wretchedly. “It’s almost over. I checked ten minutes ago.”

His eyes grainy, Paul quietly opened the doors to the large-animal section. Someone had dimmed all the lights except the one over the gazelle’s stall. Wolf lay just outside its open door, his head on his paws.

The tip of his tail fluttered in greeting, but he seemed weighted down by the impending presence of death.

Paul walked softly to the door and stopped, his throat twisting.

Caroline knelt beside the gazelle, her fingers brushing tenderly over the tiny, fine-boned head. Anna had removed all the tubes.

“You’re free now,” Paul heard Caroline whisper in a gentle voice. “There. Go home. I feel it, yes. Go home. No more pain, no more fear. Yes, you’re safe. That’s right, you’re not old and sick anymore. Go on, go on. Yes, I see the light, I see it.”

What did she see? What did all this mean? Paul shook his head. It was just the way she talked to animals, commiserating with them as if she knew what they felt. It was part of her technique.

Caroline rested her forehead against the gazelle’s neck. Her other hand tightened on the animal’s shoulder, then stroked tenderly.

“Good-bye,” she murmured. “It’s wonderful. I understand. You’re not alone anymore. Good-bye, sweetheart, good-bye.”

After a long, tortured moment, Paul whispered, “None of us has to be alone, unless we want it that way.”

Caroline looked up slowly, her eyes limpid with sorrow but also glowing with awe. It was the most amazing sight, and he stared at her as if he’d just glimpsed heaven. What had she seen?

“Some creatures are meant to live and die alone,” she said, and the light faded from her eyes.

He sighed in disagreement, knelt beside the gazelle, and checked the silent artery in her neck.

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